la la la whatever

apparently sleeping is something my body does not want to do tonight.
i'm tired, i'm exhausted.
but i'm not having any of that.
i guess.
my nose is really annoying my and getting my on my nerves.
it has been clogged, and bugging me for at least 2 months straight now.
i could thank allergies,
or the awesome second hand smoke i'm accustomed to everyday.
whatever it is.
it needs to stop.
now.
this is not okay.
i want to sleep.
sleep should not be too much to ask for.
i'm seriously half tempted to take a nyquil dose.
in fact that is what i am going to do.
right now.
yuck.
that shit is nasty.
i got "normal flavor" in the off brand at wal mart.
apparently that means "black licorice shoved up a donkey's ass".
i might vomit.
no, no.
i'm okay.
so my mom has this thing going on with her ex.
and i'm going to take this time to unload.
until i get seriously loopy from the nasty ass nyquil.
so apparently he cheated on her.
and she found out by creeping on him.
something i could never do, because i am not a creep.
but she is, i guess.
she even stalked him outside the bar.
and then was disappointed because he didn't go home with anybody.
shocking.
really.
anyways...she wants to get back together with him.
and nothing else matters.
if we have plans,
fuck them.
her ex says what are you up to...
and all hell breaks loose.
she needs to see him.
right now.
or she will die.
it's getting ridiculous really.
and as much as i hate the man for being a lying cheating bastard hole.
i wish they would just get the fuck back together.
i'm sick of the games.
i'm sick of her crying.
and i'm especially sick of her whining to me every 5 seconds asking for advice.
i have never been cheated on...
what the fuck am i supposed to tel her?
she's asked me so many times i avoid eye contact.
and i have to live with this.
i am not being ridiculous.
she is going to piss me off.
i am going to yell.
then we are both going to cry.
and i don't want that to happen.
i can not wait to move back into school.
it will be a serious breath of fresh-air.
even if my apartments are dry.
and i have le psycho roo,mate.
anything is better than this right now.
i feel like running away.
okay not really because i have nowhere to go.
and i do love her...
she's my best friend and my mom.
butt fuck.
she's either got to trust his bastard hole ass.
or fucking get over it.
and that's that.
and she can't do either!
she is an over analyzing...
creeptastic...
untrustworthy...
i could go on.
but you get the point.
and as much as my life is and is going to revolve around peoples' problems.
i should not have to be my mother's personal counselor.
it is stressing me the fuck out.
i don't have a professional opinion.
i stopped caring.
not about her...about the situation.
and about him.
and the more i hear about it...
the more she wants my help...
the more anal she gets about whatever this is...
the more angry i get.
and the more i want to punch the both of them in the face and tell them to get the over themselves.
i feel like this is completely natural.
i also feeling like i've been complaining too much.
but where else do i have to go really...
i try to talk to my bff4l and she doesn't know what to say except "yeah that sucks" or "i don't blame you"
which is annoying.
and the my other reliable source is exhausting itself.
people just need to grow up.
end of story.
think about others.
stop being selfish.
you have children...that want to spend time with you.
stop texting constantly.
and making 3 hour long phone calls in the middle of our plans.
it's not fair.
we love you.
more than him.
deal with it.

on another note...i had a weird ass dream about pam last night. and since i'm not quite loopy enough to sleep and still slightly coherent, i'm going to go see wtf it means.