love's a game of easy come and easy go

today was an interesting day, to say the least. i had to be into work early because pam has this flesh eating rash and that went pretty smooth. but then after work i didn't take my usual nap and during both of my classes i fell asleep. so i took the most amazing nap ever, heading back to work. where i got a call from one of the kid's mothers that there was some psycho right behind my apartment building like...holding himself hostage and threatening to blow up his house and shoot any one that entered. that freaked me out. so i called kim and pam lol...i miss pam though. it's weird not having her there, but i feel bad for her because i guess her eyes are swelling now. i hope the doctors that she is going to see in iowa city tomorrow can figure it out =/ i really like her. it's kind of ridiculous actually. i get excited to go to work..to see her?? idk it's weird to explain and no matter how i say it, it makes me sound creepy weird. but we get along really well, and i feel like we are a lot alike. and if the circumstances were different, and she wasn't my boss, we could probably be really good friends. i'm weird i know. but anyways...i had a fucking anxiety attack today. and the cigarettes didn't even help. it was bad! i was all shaky and one edge. i hate that shit, i haven't felt like that forever.

i just wanted to say that i really appreciate and am thankful for all my friends, and especially my family. my dad and step-mom just helped me get a new car because the silver bullet died. my mom, she's just awesome, one of the greatest friends i could ever ask for. then there's jess, who gets me completely. even though i don't really get her right now. but its ok. and catherine and anna...who are the best roomates ever. and then there is shawna, who is pretty much my soulmate. i'm so sick of being lonely and sad because i don't justin anymore. and it is really awesome to have all these people surrounding me and loving me. as much as i want a boy, i shouldn't because i have all the love i could ever need =)