just so you know.
i have a boyfriend.
it's amazing and wonderful.

and i'm scared shitless.

i have been hurt so many times in the past.
that i'm not sure i even understand how to do this relationship thing.
he seems like the perfect person...
i know nobody is perfect.
i'm not perfect.
but what's stopping us from being perfect together?
i don't want to get in the way of what i'm feeling.
because what i am feeling...
i have never felt before.
there is so much raw emotion.
so many things i have never felt for anyone.
things that i thought i felt before..
but that weren't real.

this is real.
really real.

and i'm not sure what to do.
but the weird thing is...
i don't think i have to do anything.
i think i can just let it be,
and it will blossom.
and i don't know how to feel about that.

but what i do know is that i feel:
wonderful
beautiful
loved
cared for
smart
special

and those are some of the best feelings i have felt in a long time.
but there are so many of them.
i'm not sure what to do with all of these feelings.
it's been a long time since i've had feelings!

this feels right.

it feels so right.
i think it is about damn time i found a man worth a damn.
i just hope this is the man.
because i want it to be so badly.
i want to have this forever...
i hope this it forever.

he sees in me what nobody else does.