love. is not lost.

it just hasn't been found.

it's something that you have to know.

deep down.

something is keeping me from it.

dark. mysterious.

a secret unknown to most, is my demise.

some know.

and they judge.

but i steer away from judgement.

for i am not to blame.

i am not the secret.

for the secret is within.

it shall not be named.

until i can give someone the right to my ways.

i want to love.

i want to trust.

but why do i ask so much?

people say it's not to feared.

but i am revered.

no patience.

lost temper.

glass braking, bottles fall.

the empty unknown.

the drunken disguise.

never to be satisfied.

if i ever forgive.

i shall never forget.

for what shall not be named has harmed me to the abyss.

something i crave.

eating my insides.

maybe.

if i had been more wise.

foolish child. go away.

worthless. harmful.

to this day.

it shall remain hidden.

something known to few.

but who i am...
is a secret.

and i have to trust to let you know.

for fear is instilled in me.

and my soul has been drained.

if i could i would disdain.

something that cannot be handled.

by most.

not even i.

scary. putrid.

tired of watching you cry.

is it worth it?

this life you lead.

maybe help is what you need.

but for now i shall let it rest.

because for my soul is it best.

my body. my mind, does not need more distress.

for what shall not be named is eating.

eating away.

at who i once was.

and who i hoped to be.

please stop me from going astray.

i need not paleness.

in the darkest of night.

goodbye.

sweet dreams...

for a lonesome goodnight.