so. i'm lonely. and it seems like one certain friend always spurs these emotions. i fucking hate it. i told this girl that her bragging to me about all these guys she keeps meeting is making me depressed. i mean i just got out of a huge breakup..and i'm not really in the mind set for bragging. i want to hear about it and know how she is doing. but the only thing she can talk about is boys boys boys. i can't handle it, i feel like i'm in 7th grade again. i hated 7th grade. i am not looking for a boyfriend, nor do i want to be. buttttttt...(i'm going to try not to be judgmental here) why is it that ugly people can get boyfriends (ugly couples are cute) but i can't? like i know i'm not ugly but i also know i'm not drop dead gorgeous. it just seems unfair to me...is there something wrong with me?

no, i know there isn't. but it doesn't help that i'm crushing on this ABSOLUTELY gorgeous guy from work. the only thing is is that he is way out of my league and i would never stand a chance with him, ever. like over my dead body. but i love him. that might be an over-statement. but really, he's cute he has a very charming personality and he actually can hold a conversation. and he's actually held a conversation with me, instead of just ignoring me. maybe that's the only reason i'm crushing on him...because he's an actually human being. who knows. maybe i'm just on the rebound. who the fuck knows. but i want him for some strange reason. and i know i can't have him..and they guy i can have told me he was dying of a rare lung disease the other day, but he was lying. and i don't think i like him anyways. and that was creepy.

but i guess i'm kind of over my being lonely rant. cheeseball here i come.