well it's thanksgiving, a day to celebrate all you are thankful for. and while i am thankful for alot...my health, my friends, my family. I am feeling very lonely. This is the first thanksgiving in over two years that i haven't had a boyfriend. and while i was at my grandparents, i seriously had nothing to do. everyone else has their little families, their kids, their husbands or wives. and i have nothing. i can't even go see my friends over the weekend because my car is at the shop, and it is starting to feel like they won't waste their time coming to see me. i just don't know what to do with myself. i have been sleeping, a lot. and that's about all i can do because when i'm sleeping that is the only time i don't have to think about my life, and how pathetic it is turning out to be. i wish i wasn't alone right now...but my computer is going to die.

happy freakin thanksgiving.

i have decided i'm going to be okay. it's a good feeling really...because justin turned out to be a jerk just like the rest of them. so, i'm over it. i have my friend and family and that's all i need. they won't ever leave me, and if they do...well then fuck them too =) i've realized that nobody in this life matters more than me. i don't mean in a selfish way..i just mean, that i have to watch out for me and i have to watch my own back. because my life and my happiness matters to ME! and for now, i'm going to feed into that happiness as much as i can because it really isn't worth the heartbreak. nothing is, and i'm done crying over him and i'm done crying over being lonely. i'm stronger and better than that. i gave him one day of my tears, and that's all he gets. i guess i don't really have much to say...

thank god for friends and family.

love love love.

justin and i broke up. i had every right to be freaking out like i was...i'm not stupid. he's a pussy, i doubt he ever loved me like he said he did because if he did things wouldn't have ended the way they did. i'm getting over him, it's hard. but i've done it before, and i'm ok. soooo...time to get drunk?! yes please.