why exactly is it so hard to be ok with myself? with the way i look, the way i am? i just don't get it. i hate this "societal pressure" that is put on me to look perfect and be skinny. because that is all want to be, and i'm obsessed with it but i don't have enough control or motivation to do anything about it. which just makes me so miserable and sad. and might be slightly killing me inside. it might even be making me sick, and that totally is starting to worry me and i'm not very comfortable with that idea. i want to be normal...i want to be that girl that everyone thinks is pretty. i want to be perfect. but why the hell can't i just except that i am perfect the way i am? it really shouldn't be this hard and idk why i'm freaking out over it and obsessing. idk what caused this...but i don't like it. and something has to change. soon.