I'm at the point again.
Where I have far too much going on in my head.
Any normal person would go insane.
Clearly I'm not any normal person.
I keep everything so fucking bottled up.
Why?
Its messed up and I hate myself for jt all the time.
If i could just fucking talk about things life would be a hell of a lot easier.
My mom moved.. That's been awful.
I hate it.
I'm doing fine with everything else but ive cried like 3 times in the past month.
Weird.
I know.
And now that I'm upset, i can't fucking cry.
What kind of fuckery is this.
I feel as though if trained myself to be so rock hard that i can't even control it anymore.
It just happens whenever it wants to.
Ugh.
Alec and i are no longer talking.
I'm glad.
I wish i wasnt because i feel like a terrible person for being happy about this.
But he was so damned negative ad full of drama.
I don't do the drame thing.
Ever.
And I'm sure as shit not about to statt now.
One more thing i need to get off my chest.
I slept with jessies boyfriends brother.
We'd cuddled before that but I'm so physically attracted to him its ridiculous.
I crave to be with him and in his arms.
Ive never felt like this about a guy ive had casual sex with...
And I'm not sure i like it.
I don't want feelings to get involved but i think its happening.
And to be honest...
That scares the shit outta me.

<3