ok. i don't want to get into detail because i know i will cry, and i just don't want that to happen in some strange hotel on vacation. but i had a dream...i very bad dream, i nightmare even. about him, about him hurting me, it was scary. i jerked awake..and it's all i've been able to think about ever since. i hope he treats his new girlfriend better. because i'm haunted, he caused me more damage than anyone will ever know. i need to spill to someone..i need to get my head on straight. because i feel it balling up in my chest, and it hurts. and the only thing that will make that sensation go away is screaming and crying, and letting someone know the pain i feel. but idk who to tell..because i don't want anyone i know to know that side of me. i WANT to be normal, i WANT to be happy. and if i keep it that way around my loved ones, around my friends, i'll be fine because they will think i'm fine.

fuck this!