so my mom is officially moving to colorado with my little brother. 

i've tried not to think about it too much...

b/c it really upsets me.

but i talked to pam about it this morning, 

and i can't stop thinking about it.

you know...

she's right,

at least i am in college and it's not like she is abandoning me in highschool.

i'm an adult and i would be moving out of her house anyways.

but..does that mean she has to leave?

i mean,

she even admitted to me that i'm one of her only best friends.

i visit every weekend.

and kyle loooooves me.

i'm the best sister ever!

he's so blinding by sean.

everything revolves around him.

and i know why...

b/c it's new.

sean is new and shiny and he wants to play with him.

which is cool..

kyle needs a real male adult role model.

but what happens when he starts to miss me?

does he not realize that he is going to only see me once..

maybe twice a year?

no of course he doesn't...

he's only 9.

meh.

i just hate change.

and everything is going to change this summer.

everything.

and it makes me crawl in my skin.

but it will be okay...

i'm a big girl.

i can handle these things.

but i don't want to!!! 

whining isn't going to get me anywhere.

i just need to love and let go.

i'll be okay.

they will be okay.

right???