found this on twitter. love.

YOU.

You. Yes, you. I am writing this for you.

I know you are reading this. And I want you to know I am writing this for you. No one else will understand. No one else knows. They think that this is for them. But it’s not. I am writing this for you.

I want you to know, life…it’s hard. Every day can be a challenge. It can be a challenge to get up in the morning. To get yourself out of bed. To put on that smile. But I want you to know, that smile is what keeps me going some days. You need to remember, even through the tough times, you are amazing. You really are.

You should be happy. You are gorgeous.

I know that the weather might not be perfect. You might have to turn your back to the wind or feel the cold nipping at your nose. But you know what, at least you are there to feel it. At least you can enjoy the sun’s warm rays on your face. Or that cold February wind biting at your cheeks. You know what that means?

You are alive.

Everything will be okay.

wow. i'm having one of those days, one of those weeks, one of those months, where i just want to cry about everything. i hate crying, especially crying about everything. and the worst part of it is, is that i can't even cry about everything. i just simply feel like crying but there are no tears. it is really annoying actually. but does that make me strong, or weak? does not being able to cry when i need to make me emotionally weak or emotionally strong? i'm not sure. i just can't decide. it is rough really, and i wish i understood it. yes, there are a lot of feelings inside of me. a lot of feeling i just can not get out, no matter how hard i want to. man, life is rough. i'm happy, i'm so damn happy. i'm happy with myself, with my life, with my grades, with where i'm going. i'm happy with my friends and my family. but there is something missing. and i, honestly, don't know what that is and i don't know how to fix it. and lord almighty, i wish i did. this doesn't feel like a struggle. it feels different than all my other relapses, or whatever you want to call it. i don't feel like i'm tumbling into the darkness, but i also don't feel like i see the light. it's like i'm stuck in the middle. and as much as i don't really mind being stuck in the middle. i sure as fuck want to get out. i want to be able to feel real things again, not just what is going on in my head. and maybe that is because i need to look passed my own insecurities and give others the chance to look passed theirs. maybe it's because yes, i'm stressed and i'm struggling to get my gpa up to what it needs to be. maybe it's because there are actually family things going on, we're in the middle of what some would call a family crisis. maybe it's because i have so much on my plate that i would lose my head if it weren't attached, and i am not ok with that. i'm too used to having it all together to watch things fall apart. but i'm hanging by a thread right now, and all that i need to do is get through the rest of this academic year. that's it. but it seems to far off and so fucking difficult right now. i'm probably freaking out for no reason, once everything is done and over with i will in fact be ok and i will be happy. i will okay, it will all be ok. for once, it would be nice to have somebody else reassure me. but i can't let that happen, i can't let them in. am i the only one who knows i have this problem? and why the fuck would i allow this to happen to me? maybe i'm just too emotional. maybe i just need some sleep. i'm not sure. i'm not sure of much right now.

night.