i just got really depressed and lonely.

*Since you've gone, my heart said something's wrong.
How long can this keep goin' on?
I'm still blue over losin' you.
What else am I gonna do?

I'm buildin' bridges straight to your heart,
An' all of this distance won't keep us apart,
Won't keep us apart.

Talk to me, talk to me about sympathy.
Don't leave me beggin' on my knees.
Since you've gone, my heart says something's wrong.
How long can this keep goin' on?

I'm buildin' bridges straight to your heart,
And all of this distance won't keep us apart,
Won't keep us apart.

I'm buildin' bridges straight to your heart,
And all of this distance won't keep us apart,
Won't keep us apart.

I'm buildin' bridges, (I'm buildin' bridges.)
Straight to your heart,
And all of this distance won't keep us apart,
Won't keep us apart.

(I'm buildin' bridges.)
Straight to your heart.
Whoa, I,
Whoa I, I'm buildin' bridges,
Staright to your heart.* - Brooks and Dunn

*Well I've heard those city singers singin 'bout how they can love
Deeper than the oceans higher than the stars above
Well I come from the country and I know I ain't seen it all
But I heard that oceans salty and the stars they sometimes fall
But that would not do justice to the way I feel for you
So I have to sing this song about all the things I knew

My love is deeper that the holler, stronger than the rivers
Higher than the pine trees growin' tall upon the hill
My love is purer than the snowflakes that fall in late December
And honest as a robin on a springtime window sill
And longer than the song of the Whippoorwill

From the backroads to the broadway shows with a million miles between
There's a least a million love songs that people love to sing
And everyone is different and everyone's the same
So this is just another way of sayin' the same thing

My love is deeper that the holler, stronger than the rivers
Higher than the pine trees growin' tall upon the hill
My love is purer than the snowflakes that fall in late December
And honest as a robin on a springtime window sill
And longer than the song of the Whippoorwill

My love is deeper that the holler, stronger than the rivers
Higher than the pine trees growin' tall upon the hill
My love is purer than the snowflakes that fall in late December
And honest as a robin on a springtime window sill
And longer than the song of the Whippoorwill* - Randy Travis

so i've been talking to jason for a while now. we know each other pretty well...we've talked about getting fucked over and how we don't want relationships but we like each other. we've talked about how we're totally comfortable around each other and how we can be ourselves...we text every night before bed. and we started this thing where we tell each other good night even if we are busy. and then i text him last night...and i got nothing back. and no text tonight. now, i'm not broken hearted or anything but
what is going on?! like monday night he was telling me how much better his year has been since he's met me..and blah blah blah and now he won't even talk to me? there has to be something wrong. i'm going to cry if it's me tho. i'm sorta kinda attached to him..i know him pretty well, he's a good person and very loyal but he hurts easily. and so do i...maybe that's not a good combination, but who cares we're not going to date. i'm pretty sure that isn't in the cards for me for a very very long time. unless it walks into my life...which hasn't happened soooo...whatever.

idk i feel good about being single, i'm happy, i'm FREE <3 but thats about it..nothing else. i don't have that person to kiss, to tell i love you to. none of that...and i miss it. as gross as it sounds, i do. i want that other half that person who LOVES me and wants to be with me forever. i went to sex in the city 2 with KT on tuesday and in the movie carrie and her husband have this relationship that i want. like she gets mad and neurotic and he just stays calm and adapts to it, and she does the same. there is no yelling or screaming just talking and rationalizing..and being adults. where the hell are THOSE relationships in the real world?? i want one.

everything is just insane. Ppl are dying...and hurting and here I am in the middle of it all. Death..has never happened to me but I'm scared shitless. Idk what else to say...prayers go out to the anderson family. Lauren, may you be an angel of light shining down on all of them. Your time came to soon.